A Boy by Any Other Name Part 2

Me, myself and sigh…

That’s not exactly the title of Beyonce’s song, but it definitely has some truth in it. About two weeks ago I wrote about the dilemma of being infatuated with a friend who just happens to be a guy. I also offered advice to separate yourself from the situation but the truth is, it isn’t just that easy to forget about someone who has potentiality to be a part of your life…but is already committed in someone else’s life. In this second part of the series, “The Unboyfriend,” I will be looking at actual ways to remove yourself from the ‘unboyfriend’ dilemma to becoming an independent person and move away from becoming  “the other girl.”


Moving on...


         1.  Change for yourself, not others

Oh, I know, how so after school special of C&E, but in reality this is the number one problem we have when we are trying to attract the perfect mate. We’ll change to get a man but not for ourselves? Not good. Our suggestion is to respect yourself first in order to elicit and encourage a positive change from within first.

        2. Take every criticism and turn it into a compliment

I never liked criticism, I don’t think I ever will – but I take it – even when it comes to relationships. When my ‘unboyfriend’ Dean* boldly criticized one of my personality traits, I took it to heart. I started becoming shy and reserved – just because I wanted to impress and ‘change for him’ but then I realized: should I really change for him? Of course not! Especially since I know some guy out there will love my personality….besides Dean is not my boyfriend.

        3.  Take some time to do things you enjoy to do with people you enjoy being around

I find the best headstart to create or find a potential relationship with someone is to hang around people who will lead you to that special person. You may find them through an acquaintance, or through family or at a party. And even though you don’t know them – you know that hanging around them, positive people like you, is always a good sign.

As for me, I think the best way to get rid of the ‘unboyfriend’ is to find my own boyfriend. Why not give it a try, I mean what do I have to lose?

I would love to hear your stories about your “Unboyfriend.” Let me know how you are handling the dilemma.

*Names have been changed

Images courtesy of photobucket


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